The background music for the song Pomerian is about to sing, "Rich Bitch" which is in a slow/techno Britney Spears-style song, comes on in the background. 5 Background dancers, which are all hunky man, come out from the background and go to the middle of the stage. They form a line. The first male background dancer ducks. Pomerian is on stage dancing slowly, shaking her ass. CLOSE ON: Pomerian's legs. Her legs bend with the tune of the music. The second background dancer ducks. Pomerian is suddenly licking a lollipop. The third background dancer ducks. Pomerian is in bed with a random guy smoking a cigar looking like they just had sex. They are both smiling. The fourth background dancer ducks. Ricky is dancing on a pole like a stripper even wearing fake boobs. He shakes his ass and grabs the pole. He slides down the pole and the fake boobs, which are cantelopes, come out of his shirt. CLOSE SHOT: Pomerian's lips. Pomerian starts singing "Rich Bitch".
POMERICAN ERICKSON(SINGING)
(Singing "Rich Bitch")
INT. -FOOSBALL TABLE-DAY
A miniature Ricky is dancing on a foosball table while the music plays in the background. One of the player hits him in the nuts at the beat of the music.
INT. -WHITE BACKGROUND-DAY
Pomerian is standing behind a white background. She can't believe what she just saw. She mouths "WTF?".
INT. -GENE KELLY HIGH AUDITORIUM STAGE-DAY
Pomerian and Ricky are on the stage dancing sexily. The fifth male background dancer ducks.Pomerian runs towards the male background dancers and jumps over all 5 of them. She goes to Rick and slides down him. Rick, however, isn't the least bit interested in her and is actually a little grossed out she's doing it. She crawls on the stage and looks at the audience sexily. As she does this, she is singing "Rich Bitch".
POMERIAN ERICKSON(SINGING LIKE BRITNEY SPEARS) (CONT’D)
(Singing “Rich Bitch”)
Ricky is now wearing Sanjaya's long curly hair. He is pretending to be interested in Pomerian but isn't really interested in her seeing as he's gay and she's his sister.
RICKY ERICKSON(SINGING LIKE A MALE BACKGROUND SINGER)
(Singing “Rich Bitch”)
Pomerian walks to the middle of the stage. All the hunky background dancers walk to her and circle her. Then they walk around her, checking her out.
POMERIAN ERICKSON(SINGING LIKE BRITNEY SPEARS)
(Singing “Rich Bitch”)
She stops singing. The guys spring away from her and dance in the background. Pomerian and Ricky dance around the stage while looking at each other. The male back-up dancers who are dancing in the background get into the middle of the stage and form a line going from the tallest to the smallest. Pomerian and Ricky join the line with Pomerian as first and Ricky as second. Pomerian ducks followed by Ricky and the other male break-up dancers. Pomerian takes male break-up dancer#1 and grabs him by the waist and dances with him while Ricky takes male break-up dancer#2 and grabs him by the waist and dances with him. Then they push the male break-up dancers away and slowly walk toward each other sexily. They go close to each other and look at each other closely. They shimmy around while looking at each other sexily and pretend they are about to kiss.
POMERIAN ERICKSON(SINGING)
(Singing “Rich Bitch”)
She pulls away from him and dances sexily around him while singing "Rich Bitch" sliding around him.
POMERIAN ERICKSON(SINGING)
(Singing “Rich Bitch”)
As she's about to slide off of Ricky, Ricky grabs her by the arms. The song turns off and they smile.
INT. -GENE KELLY HIGH AUDITORIUM-DAY
The audience and judges are really impressed.
MR. JACKSON
Yo dog, I was blown away by that even if it wasn't the song you weren't supposed to sing...although only 2 people actually sang "Then There was You"...actually only 6 people auditioned.
MS. ABDUL
I agree...though I usually agree with him.
MS. COWELL
Even I think that was good and I'm the guy who always says it's horrible.
The audience boo's. Ms. Cowell looks at them.
MS. COWELL (CONT’D)
I said it was good, you don't have to boo, you idiots!
INT. -AUDITORIUM STAGE-DAY
Ryan Seacrest claps his hands.
RYAN SEACREST
Well, that's all the time we have for today. Unless, anyone else would like to audition...would anyone like to audition? Anyone? Anyone?
INT. -AUDITORIUM BACKSTAGE-DAY
Drake is still hiding behind the trashcan with Domonique hiding in the trashcan.
DRAKE MCPRETTYBOYTOY
You know what, I’ve been thinking:maybe I should get the courage to go up there and audition for the high school musical.
Domonique pops out of the trashcan and climbs out of it. She looks at him.
DOMONIQUE LOPENZIA
You know, I was actually thinking the same thing.
DRAKE MCPRETTYBOYTOY
Do you think we should do it?
DOMONIQUE LOPENZIA
Even though it’s out of our leagues, you being a jock and I being a science whiz, we probably should if we really want to do it!
DRAKE MCPRETTYBOYTOY
Okay, let’s do it...
INT. -AUDITORIUM STAGE-DAY
Ryan is still looking around to see if anyone else would like to audition.
RYAN SEACREST
Is that it? Well, then...
Drake and Domonique walk out.
DRAKE MCPRETTYBOYTOY
We’d like to audition!
Ryan sighs and looks at them.
RYAN SEACREST
Sorry, kid, but you’re too late...
DRAKE MCPRETTYBOYTOY
Come on, just give us 5 minutes...
Ryan sighs out of annoyance and looks at them madly because he doesn't really want to spend anymore time there.
RYAN SEACREST
Look, the auditions are over, plus I have no time to give you 5 minutes: I came all the way from California to do this and I need to be back there in 5 minutes.
DRAKE MCPRETTYBOYTOY
Why?
RYAN SEACREST
Do you realize how many jobs I have? I am a busy man...
He looks at the audience and judges.
RYAN SEACREST (CONT’D)
Sorry about that: now where was I? Oh right.
He claps.
RYAN SEACREST (CONT’D)
Those were all great performances...woo! But it’s up to you, america, who will be in the High School Musical?!
The credit music for American Idol goes on as Ryan leaves the stage.
INT. -GENE KELLY HIGH AUDITORIUM-DAY
The judges and the audience get up from their seats and leave.
INT. -AUDITORIUM BACKSTAGE-DAY
Casey is holding a bunch of sheet music papers and walking towards the exit when a student walks out of the exit accidentally hitting her with the door and makes her fall down making her let go of the sheets and making them fly all over the place. Drake and Domonique walk towards her to help her. The notes are now on the floor. Casey, who’s glasses are a little crooked thanks to having her hit by the door, is crawling and scattering around trying to find the notes but can’t find them. Drake and Domonique go on their hands and knees and help pick them up. They finish picking them up. Domonique, Drake, who are holding the notes, and Casey get up. Casey straightens her glasses. Drake and Domonique give her the notes back.
DRAKE MCPRETTYBOYTOY
Here’s the sheet music, back.
CASEY NEILSON Thank you. So, I see you two wanted to audition for the High School Musical.
DRAKE MCPRETTYBOYTOY
Yeah, we actually did...
CASEY NEILSON
Well, um, even though you’re too late, would you like to see the song I wanted them to play instead of the song they actually did play?
DRAKE MCPRETTYBOYTOY
Yeah, we’d love to...
CASEY NEILSON
Okay, then, let's go, shall we?
Casey starts walking and Drake and Domonique follow her. They walk to the stage. Casey sets the sheet music on the music stand. She sits back down on the piano and starts playing the song "Then There Was You" which only Jennifer and Grumbles sang causing Drake and Domonique to sing it.
DRAKE MCPRETTYBOYTOY (LIP SYNCHING)
(Singing “Then There was You”)
DOMONIQUE LOPENZIA (SINGING)
(Singing “Then There was You”)
INT. -GENE KELLY HIGH AUDITORIUM-DAY
Ms. Cowell walks into the auditorium because she forgot her purse.
MS. COWELL
Excuse me, is anyone in here, I forgot my---.
She hears Drake and Domonique singing and gets distracted because she can’t believe how good they sound.
MS. COWELL (CONT’D)
Oh my god, it’s beautiful...
A woman standing next to her is holding a baby.
MOTHER
I know, isn’t he?
Ms. Cowell pushes her away.
MS. COWELL
And their singing is great! They’ve got talent!
INT. -AUDITORIUM STAGE-DAY
Casey is still playing "Then There Was You" on the piano with Domonique standing near the piano but Drake is no longer there. On the right of the piano, a recording studio has replaced Drake. In the studio, there is recording equipment, an amplifier to record the singers voice, a T.V. with Drake's face on it singing "Then There Was You" and a few cables lying down to record the voice. The singer who dubs Drake's singing voice is on a stool singing "Then There Was You" through the microphone recording his voice.
INT. -GENE KELLY HIGH AUDITORIUM-DAY
Ms. Cowell is just amazed at their singing.
MS. COWELL
I don't think I've ever heard a teenager sing as beautifully as Drake has. Words can not describe how beautiful his voice truly is.
INT. -GENE KELLY HIGH AUDITORIUM STAGE-DAY
Casey is still playing "Then There Was You" on the piano and Drake and Domonique are singing together. They stop singing causing Casey to stop playing the piano.
DRAKE MCPRETTYBOYTOY
Wow, that was beautiful...I mean, sure, Pomerian and Ricky’s song is more catchy but this is a good song nonetheless.
CASEY NEILSON
Thanks. Now, I’m sorry, but you have to go, my “fall in love with prissy white boy and try to turn him into gangsta boy but we end up keeping our personality and falling love with each other even though society doesn’t want us to” class is starting in 10 minutes.
DRAKE MCPRETTYBOYTOY
Okay, well, we better get going too...we’ve got class next period: see you later.
CASEY NEILSON
See you later.
Drake and Domonique leave. Casey leaves and, offscreen, she is heard undressing but you don’t see anything. Casey walks in dressed like a gangsta kid with the baggy pants, sideways hat, gold chain, and short sleeved white shirt. A similarly dressed kid, the gangsta kid, walks in except he’s wearing a tutu instead of baggy pants looking bored.
GANGSTA KID (MUMBLING WITH SUBITLES AT THE BOTTOM OF THE SCREEN SAYING WHAT HE’S SAYING)
Yo Casey, I didn’t know you were Gangsta:I thought you were the prissy white bitch.
Casey realizes she got the classes wrong and it’s actually “fall for gangsta kid and try to turn him into prissy white boy but end up accepting him and falling for him anyway” class.
CASEY NEILSON
Oh, great, I got the classes wrong: it’s actually “fall for gangsta kid and try to turn him into prissy white boy but end up accepting him and falling for him anyway” class.
INT. -GENE KELLY HIGH AUDITORIUM-DAY
Ms. Cowell is amazed at what she heard.
MS. COWELL
Wow! That...that was just amazing! I can’t believe what I heard! I never knew a science geek and a jock could sing so well but they did! It’s too bad we didn’t let them audition: but, oh dear, it’s too late...well, I guess I could do a callback but,...oh what the hell? I’ll do a callback!
The bell rings.
INT. -GENE KELLY HIGH-DAY
All the students except for Drake, Domonique and the kickball team are crowded around the bulletin board which has a callback sheet in the front of it with Drake’s name first, Domonique’s name under it, Pomerian’s name under it, and Eric’s name last. All the students are worried because Drake has auditioned for something out of his nature. The announcements turn on.
PA VOICE
Everybody, were all gonna die!
A few greasers in the crowd are mad that the plot of High School Musical is very similar to the plot of Grease. Casey and a prissy white boy and the gangsta boy are standing by her right and left side.
GREASER#1
Yo guys, he stole our shtick!
GREASER#2
What da hell you talking about?!
GREASER#1
Think about it-I’m in love with Sandy which you guys don’t like and neither does her friends-same thing here: Drake’s auditioned for the musical and fell in love with Domonique which the guys don’t like and neither do her friends.
GREASER#3
Oh my god, you’re right! They stole that from us! We were the first ones to use the concept first! West Side Story and Romeo and Juliet might have a similar plot but that’s just a coincidence-this isn’t!
He punches his fists.
GREASER#3 (CONT’D)
Let’s get’ em!
Greaser#4 points to someone off-screen.
GREASER#4
Hey look, I found something worse than a bad remake!
The other greasers look at him.
GREASER#1
GREASER#2
GREASER#3
What?!
Across the hall, from where they are standing a bunch of kids dressed like they are in Grease 2 are hanging out by a wall.
GREASE 2 GREASER#1
Yo everybody, did you know Johnny’s still a virgin!
Everybody else except Johnny, who’s standing next to him, gasps. A guy next to the guy on the right side of Johnny stands out from the crowd.
GREASE 2 GREASER#3
But...how can you be a virgin?! If you don’t have sex then the whole world will blow up!
He gets back into the crowd. Grease 2 Greaser#2, who’s standing next to Johnny on his right side, looks at Johnny.
GREASE 2 GREASER#2
Yo Johnny, how can you be a virgin?!
Johnny stands out from the crowd.
JOHNNY
Simple-I masturbate!
Grease-like music comes on in the background. Everybody bops their heads.
JOHNNY(SINGING) (CONT’D)
Who needs a man and a woman?!
When you can do it with one person?!
So, please don’t hate... But tonight...
GREASE 2 CAST (SINGING)
Were gonna masturbate!
The greasers, mad as hell, punch their fists.
GREASER#1
Let’s get’em, guys.
The greasers run towards them. The prissy white boy looks at Casey.
PRISSY WHITE BOY
Hey, aren’t we also in a love triangle where our friends won’t let us date because we come from two different worlds?
Pomerian and Ricky(wearing a hat that says “WTF?”), who are in front of the crowd, can’t believe what they are seeing.
POMERIAN ERICKSON
This has to be a joke! Were supposed to be the only kids in the musicals! Even though those other kids auditioned, we paid them to look bad so we could win!
RICKY ERICKSON
Maybe were getting punk’d! Maybe will meet Ashton!
Pomerian rolls her eyes and looks at Ricky.
POMERIAN ERICKSON
That show has been cancelled for two years, idiot!
Ricky tries to think of something else. He snaps his fingers.
RICKY ERICKSON
Maybe were on Scare Tactics! Maybe will meet Tracy!
Pomerian looks at him annoyed.
POMERIAN ERICKSON
Look, unless it shows your gay let me do the hip dialogue for now...
Carter and the rest of the Kickball team except for Drake walk in and see the crowd at the bulletin board.
CARTER DONALDSON
Wait a minute, what the hell is going on?!
They walk through the crowd and push their way through them to the bulletin board. They see that Drake is in the callbacks and are surprised and mad about it because auditioning for the high school musical is out of the kicktball players nature.
CARTER DONALDSON (CONT’D)
Oh my god, this is worse than "From Justin to Kelly!"
Everybody looks at him weirdly because they didn't except a jock to see a musical.
CARTER DONALDSON
I mean, "Oh my god, this is worse than that singer, who I don't know because I don't listen to music, trying to pitch the ball in that baseball game in China".
He looks at everybody.
CARTER DONALDSON (CONT’D)
But let’s not talk about it here, everybody...let’s sing about it in the cafeteria!
Everyone runs to the cafeteria.
INT. -GENE KELLY HIGH CAFETERIA-DAY
The cafeteria is unusually large for a high school cafeteria. It’s as large as a mansion. Kids are sitting at different tables eating their lunch. In the front seats are Carter and the basketball team. There are two doors, one on each side of the cafeteria in the back, that lead to the place where the students get their food and put them on trays. There's a line at both of the doors. Two students holding lunch trays walk into the frame.
STUDENT IN CAFETERIA#1
Wow, they’ve really redone the cafeteria!
STUDENT IN CAFETERIA#2
Now all the students can eat here: how could they afford this?
They walk past the frame.
OFF-SCREEN VOICE
How could they cut chorus?!
6 girls dressed like they should be in the show, "The Hills" are sitting at a table looking at their cell phones texting nobody.
HILLS GIRL#1
Like OMG, did you hear about Drake trying out for The High School Musical?
HILLS GIRL#2
Like yeah, what an atrocity!
4 guys dressed like rabbi's are sitting at a table eating Bagles with little pieces of salmon in it.
JEWISH STUDENT#1
Did you hear about Drake trying out for the high school musical?
JEWISH STUDENT#2
Oy Vey!
4 kids, The Wannabes, which include two guys and two girls dressed like they are in Shakespearean times, are sitting at a seat talking two each other like they are in shakesperean time.
WANNABE#1
'Tis hear the herald's call that Drake the prince of the cats the noble man hath tried out for the high school musical which true that in this society hath been banish-ed.
WANNABE#2
'Tis me for can he thou not see that those two things are not together like a happy bride and groom 'bout 14 but are banish-ed from each other, two worlds apart? Hath he no right to see the peril of his actions?
The Kickball players and everyone are a little worried that Drake auditioned for the high school musical.
CARTER DONALDSON
I can’t believe Drake would skip kickball practice just to audition for the stupid musical!
RONNIE
I know, now I’m really questioning his sexuality!
KICKBALL PLAYER#5
It took you this long to question his sexuality? I’ve been questioning his sexuality ever since he said he liked Batman and Robin.
SYKE TRAYTON
Hey guys, maybe it isn’t so bad!
CARTER DONALDSON
Dude, he auditioned for the high school musical! Kickball and musicals have nothing to do with each other! It disrupts the natural order of things!
SYKE TRAYTON
Yeah, well he’s not the only player here who has an interest outside of kickball...
He gets up on the table getting the kickball players attention and the music for the upcoming song “Cliques are the way To Go” starts. Syke is singing about how he’s interested in science because he uses it to make meth labs.
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