POMERIAN ERICKSON
Good!
Pomerian sees something off screen that looks interesting.
POMERIAN ERICKSON (CONT’D)
Hmm...what’s that?
RICKY ERICKSON
What?
As it turns out, Pomerian sees Domonique’s mother's diary by one of the boxes near them. She and Ricky crawl toward the book. She turns over and sits on her butt near the diary. Then she picks it up and skims through it.
POMERIAN ERICKSON
I wonder what’s in this book.
She stops searching through the book and looks at a certain page.
POMERIAN ERICKSON (CONT’D)
Hmm...what’s this? Dear Diary, today I landed in Greece and it hasn’t gone well so far: today I was raped by a man and I’m afraid to tell anyone because he threatened to kill me if I do.
Pomerian is a little freaked out.
POMERIAN ERICKSON (CONT’D)
Okay, that was creepy...
She turns the page.
POMERIAN ERICKSON (CONT’D)
Dear diary, I finally gave up the courage and went to the authorities and had the rapist arrested. When I went out of the prison, I ran into my best friend from high school and....
She puts down the book and looks at Ricky.
POMERIAN ERICKSON (CONT’D)
Hmm...very interesting stuff, isn’t it?
She starts reading the book again.
POMERIAN ERICKSON (CONT’D)
And we decided to go out to dinner to see how he's been doing...he told me he might be gay but he wasn’t sure, so to see if he was really gay or not I ended up having sex with him: as it turned out, he really was gay.
She turns the page.
POMERIAN ERICKSON (CONT’D)
Dear diary, today I met the most charming man...Remington Bronan. He had everything a girl could ask for...he was like a real life Pierce Brosnan. When I saw him for the first time, I knew we were in love. So we went out and ended up having sex...again. Then, when we were done, his wife called and it turned out he was married so I kicked his ass!
She turns the page.
POMERIAN ERICKSON (CONT’D)
Dear diary, today I found out I was pregnant-I’m not 100% sure who the father is but it’s gotta be the charming guy who turned out to be a married jerk cheating on his wife-it just has to be! P.S., I found it a little weird that all these guys broke out into songs by ABBA. Like when the rapist was about to rape me, he sang “Honey, Honey”, when the gay guy was about to tell me he was gay he sang “Dancing Queen” and when I found out the charming guy was married he broke out into “Mamma Mia!”.
Ricky looks at Pomerian weirdly.
RICKY ERICKSON
Pomerian, what does this have to do with getting Domonique in trouble?
She puts the book down and looks at Ricky.
POMERIAN ERICKSON
It actually doesn’t, I just like to read diaries.
She puts the book down. Then she goes back on all fours and starts to crawl away from him.
POMERIAN ERICKSON
We better go though, we’ve got class in an hour!
RICKY ERICKSON
Yeah, we better go...
INT. -AUDITORIUM BACKSTAGE-DAY
All the kids that were given detention by Ms. Cowell are painting trees for the High School Musical. Ms. Cowell is walking around telling them about the evil's of cell phones. A subtitle that says "Teachers can apparently do this" pops up and pops out.
MS. COWELL
See what cell phones have gotten you into?! Cell phones destroy everything! At the theater, those rude bastards who don't turn off their cell phones disrupt the action going on by having their cell phones ring which distracts the audience! This happens in both the movie theater and the stage! It also disrupts Youtube videos sometimes because when a person is filming someone, sometimes their phone rings and the audience seeing the clip can hear it! It also disrupts conversations by having a person talk to someone but then have their cell phone ring and they end up having to talk to that person!
Her cell phone rings. She looks at the students.
MS. COWELL (CONT’D)
Excuse me, one minute...
She takes her cell phone out and answers it.
MS. COWELL (CONT’D)
Hello? Who is this? I'm trying to teach kids the evil of cell phones. Hello? Hello? Are you there? Can you hear me now? I can hear you but can you hear me? You can. Good.
Drake is painting a tree while Carter is in the tree sleeping. He looks at Carter and tries to wake him up.
DRAKE MCPRETTYBOYTOY
Dude, wake up!
Carter keeps sleeping. Drake shakes the tree and a nut hits Carter but Carter still sleeps. Drake takes out a flamethrower and uses the flamethrower to burn the tree but Carter still sleeps. Then he takes out a bucket of water and splashes the bucket of water on the tree. Then a stagelight comes and goes through the tree and hits him on the head. He wakes up.
OFF-SCREEN VOICE
Sorry about that.
CARTER DONALDSON
Drake, what do you want?!
DRAKE MCPRETTYBOYTOY
Yo dude, get up! We have to finish painting this tree!
CARTER DONALDSON
Fine. Man, detention is so boring!
DRAKE MCPRETTYBOYTOY
Well, not everybody thinks so.
The breakfast club are dancing like the breakfast club danced in the dance montage in The breakfast club on a rail. The scene is pretty much copied from beginning to end. Ms. Cowell, still on her cell phone, looks at them and rolls her eyes.
MS. COWELL
Excuse me, one minute!
She takes the cell phone away from her ear but clenches it in her hands. She runs away and stops the breakfast club from dancing.
MS. COWELL
What the hell are you doing?! Stop it! Stop it right now!
They see her and stop. They jump off the rail madly and groan.
MS. COWELL (CONT’D)
Just because you're working on a musical doesn't mean you can sing and dance!
Ms. Cowell goes back on her cell phone and her mood changes from mad to happy.
MS. COWELL
Sorry about that...what were you saying?
Domonique and Terry are painting a tree. Domonique is painting the front of the tree while Terry is painting the right side of the tree. Terry looks at Domonique and starts talking to her.
TERRY MACKENZIE
So, Domonique, I found something in my locker about you.
Domonique can’t believe what she’s hearing.
DOMONIQUE LOPENZIA
Excuse me...what?
TERRY MACKENZIE
Hey, I don't know how you got into my locker,---.
She drags the trophy case that was in Domonique’s house from behind the tree. Domonique is surprised at what she sees.
TERRY MACKENZIE (CONT’D)
But I found this in my locker and was wondering if you’re really sure you wouldn’t like to join the science club. I mean we could really use you in the science awards.
DOMONIQUE LOPENZIA
You know, maybe next year, but for now I think I'm just gonna get adjusted to the school before joining any extra-curricular activities.
All the students roll their eyes and groan. They look at her madly.
STUDENTS
You've said that a million times, bitch! Just sell out already!
Domonique sighs.
DOMONIQUE LOPENZIA
Okay, I'll give in: I'll join the science team.
The students sigh with grief and look up at the sky.
STUDENTS (SARCASTICALLY)
Thank you!
INT. -GENE KELLY HIGH GYM-DAY
The gym has two bleachers on two sides of the court. It's very big. Kickball practice is going on as the players are waiting for the coach to come. Ronnie is holding the Kickball. There is a line of players, starting with Syke, waiting for Ronnie to pitch the kickball to them. Jack McPrettyboytoy walks in and wonders where Drake and Terry are. He is wearing a hat with a cougar on it and the words "Gene Kelly High Crazy Tigers" next to it.
COACH JACK MCPRETTYBOYTOY
Where's the team?!
SYKE TRAYTON
They're right here in the gym.
COACH JACK MCPRETTYBOYTOY
Okay, now where's Drake and Carter?
RONNIE
They're in detention.
Coach Jack gets angry and slams his hat on the floor.
COACH JACK MCPRETTYBOYTOY
Dammit! That bitch has gotten my boys in detention again!
The screen pauses and the Dukes of Hazzard announcer starts speaking.
DUKE OF HAZZARDS ANNOUNCER
Well, well, well, here we go: it looks as if the mean old drama teacher has gotten our boys in detention.
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